Rachel Barduhn
Like a Prism, I Shine
This free verse poetic piece talks about my individual experience when discovering a side of myself that I became fully conscious of. Like a prism, relates to the idea that once your truth shines through, it cannot be hidden again. It reflects on the emotions and feelings on coming out to yourself before anyone else knows.
Like a Prism, I shine
I sat.
Solemnly on my bedside in terror and defeat.
Everything I once knew and believed about myself was not my truth.
It was merely a false lesson I have been served warm
but once consumed,
it trickled down my throat in a frigid state.
In the deepened twilight of my room,
I witnessed a dynamic light of vivid hues phase through
my body unapologetically like a crystallized prism.
Upon seeing it, I was fearful of what would occur if others knew.
The truth behind my rainbow fashioned heart.
It burned in my stomach and left me in isolated tears
and I realized it must be kept hidden.
This eternal depth was unlike any other.
There was an assumption that I had to somehow grow out of it.
A simple phase of adolescence or a temporary campus fling.
But how can someone mature from the feeling of genuine love?
When I gaze at her longingly, why should I keep it a secret?
Lock it away and throw away the key?
All of this madness in order to make sure others are comfortable.
No, I shall not reject this layer that I have held on to for a decade.
This part of me is truly and authentically me.
It always has been.
This breakthrough of mine as daring as it sounds to say out loud
feels like a breath of the freshest air
and a weight has melted away never to be felt again. I’ll lift up this mega phone to my lips and proclaim for all to hear: Like a Prism, I shine! I reflect the heartfelt warmth I’ve longed to give.
About Rachel Barduhn
Rachel Barduhn, otherwise nicknamed RJ is an inspiring writer/poet from Scarborough. She has always loved writing from a very early age. As long as she could remember, it has given her a voice. In return, she hopes her words will give POC, neuro-divergent and Queer folk a space to feel embraced and listened to. She has spoken at small poetry slam events, placed in third and won the black student excellence in the arts. Through her writing she also wants to be the voice of reason, acceptance and to spread nothing but genuine kindness.