Rachel Barduhn
The Golden Deer
You have broken my bones
to bake your bread.
Your words have pointed
Daggers into my youth.
Forcing me to choke
on poisonous waters.
Yet I emerged
Beautifully
Above the surface.
A vision of my former self
Fading out of existence
In front of my eyes made of fire.
Mourning in rage for a little girl
Who is lost within its blaze.
In my next life,
By the time
you catch a glimpse of me
I’m wandering in your dreams.
I’ve transformed
From the wicked spell
You have cast upon me.
You sought me out
Hunted me down
Until I remained bruised
And bleeding.
Yet despite it all,
These scars are filled
In with gold.
My next phase
Is on a pathway
crafted
In a grandiose of
Hope.
About Rachel Barduhn
Rachel Barduhn is Afro-Jamaican/German writer from Scarborough Ontario. She has been writing since the age of six and considers it her love language. Her work has also appeared in publications such as PITCH Mag, Bath Bird Zine and Pinhole Poetry. She continues to write to show her love for the art. When she isn't writing, she indulges in books, cooking and occasionally photography or art collages.
This poetic piece talks about the idea of transformation caused by the pain of a person closest to you. In this scenario, I am in the position of the deer being hunted after by a former connection. After being beaten and broken down it shows the outcome of survival shown as emerging beautifully. But along the way we mourn for our former selves as they burn away and become the past. The symbolism of scars being filled with gold is known as "kintsugi" filling in the cracks of old pottery with powdered gold. This translates to the Japanese philosophy of embracing the beauty of our imperfections as humans. Healing through a rough patch can act as agent for change and the aftermath of it bringing a brand-new hope or the light at the end of a tunnel.